Worlds Worst Waiter

That's me.

I HATE waiting for things. I'm so bad at it. I start getting knots in my tummy and anxiety attacks.
We are still waiting for Jacob's mission call to come. Wish I had read earlier that the calls don't get mailed until Tuesday. I've been checking the mail since Tuesday, and getting farther and father into the anxiety hole. I could have saved myself a lot of stress. I think Joel is feeling it too. Last night he dreamed that Jake was called to Texas. That would make me happy♥♥♥!

I have started the kids in 4H. We are not sure what all they will be doing. It's a bit different from when I was in it. I have signed them up for Robotics (but then found out the club's schedule won't work for me), vegetable gardening (I am hoping this years garden is so much better than last!), and shooting sports and wildlife. Joy is just signed up for Cloverbuds.

Tonight we saw deer in the woods behind our house. Two little young ones that Joel said were from last year.  I have seen them wandering around with a larger doe. Then when Joel left for work he saw seven deer in the swampy area on our property. COOL! I love love love living here!!!

This last weekend we went to a baptism for a boy who is the son of one of my childhood friends. That was so cool. Almost as cool as it was when his mom spoke at Joy's baptism. I find it fun sometimes how life goes around in circles like this. I'm so thankful to be a strong member in church again, as well as she is, and having our families be friends with each other. Her kids and my kids play so awesomely together.

After the baptism we took the kids to see a play based on the books byDoreen Cronin and Hary Bliss called Diary of a Worm, a spider and a fly. It was awesome! The kids and us adults loved it. Super fun. Afterward Joy took her playbill and had the actors sign it. What was so fun is that they signed it as their character, for example "Fly Girl", "Worm", etc.  That was awesome.

Hoping we get a big envelope in the mail sometime soon!

Thankful heart

Sometimes it amazes me how one day I can feel so incomplete and separated from God and then the next day I can be given revelation about something I really needed an answer for. Sometimes, like this time, I didn't know I was needing that information until I got it.

Something has been bothering me about something someone did to me. For a long time, I've looked forward to a day when I can be free of the chain of pain I have felt wrapped in. But yesterday as I waited for my kids to get out of school I read an article, I Can Decide in February's Ensign magazine that put new light on what I was experiencing. I realized that I was waiting for a day when I could indulge myself in the bitterness I feel as I tried to remove that chain of pain.

 Indulge myself.

That struck me strongly. What a selfish thing I've been wanting!

I then realized that even if that day would come, the anticipated satisfaction would not be satisfying at all. And then I read this line... "I decided I would not become bitter. My heart was broken. But I would not allow this to damage my spirit." .... if this woman could do that, why can't I?

As I read her words that said,"I thought seriously of the covenants I had made and kept, and I felt a sweet spirit of comfort.... I received assurances that the Lord is aware of my life, my responsibilities, and my pain..."  I felt a sweet assurance that the same things applied to me. For a moment I felt light in my sorrow and complete and wished I could feel like that all day every day.  I felt closer to Him.

I am thankful that I have gained a stronger testimony that I can choose to not let these types of chains weigh me down and that I was able to feel the weight of them lift from me for that moment. It's going to take a conscious effort on my behalf to shrug them off until they stay off completely, but it is my choice to invite the Lord to heal me.