Update

We might have a buyer! I advertised, on Saturday, our home as a possible contract for deed and right away got a call from this couple who were very excited about our home. I was so scared we were going to have to advertise and advertise to get some decent interest. But these people said they had to make a decision by Friday and could I show them the house on Monday? So when I met with them Monday they were in love with it. And what's even more amazing... the huge puddle in the road, the screaming neighbor, and the kids running up and down in the puddle did not deter them one bit! They even wanted to give me $1,000 in earnest money that night!  I was floored, thinking, "how is this possible?" So, I am cautiously optimistic. I really want it to be true and to be a good fit for all of us! I hope, hope, hope this works out. We really could use the financial relief. But, sometimes I have been excited about something, and then something bad happens and I feel so rotten. They want to put down 10%, which is awesome! They also are talking about paying it off as soon as they can so they can have some financial freedom too.

Jake is on his own now. We have the car he's been using, back in our hands again. He bought himself a car and insurance. He's done with his associates degree.  He's still living at grandma's and says he wants to go on his mission after this summer. Letting him be a grown up is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Even harder than the 18 hours of labor I had giving birth.  Harder than the 18 years of raising him. Often my heart aches for when he was a little boy and still here. Every evening he would  help me make dinner, and it was so nice to talk and chat during this time. Just me and him. Now I don't know where he is, where he's going, who he's hanging out with, what are they doing, when will he be home? Has he eaten anything healthy today? Does he have gas? And to top it all off... I know his car doesn't have a good seat belt that he will use regularly :( this scares the daylights out of me. It's so hard to stand in my spot and know I've done all I can and I just have to worry about me and the rest of the kids I'm raising, and let go of them in their own time too.