20 Hours. Done!

This afternoon I finished up my 20 hours of volunteer service hours in a regular elementary school classroom. I had such a blast! I was lucky enough to spend that time in Joyanna's classroom with her teacher. She is such a great teacher. I loved her teaching style and I learned so much from her. She actually made me feel like maybe I would like to teach in a regular classroom.
The kids were so fun and they were mostly good to me. There were a couple of stinkers but I didn't let them get away with it. I made them love me by the end, lol. I think my walking like a penguin helped ;)
I was able to spend lunch with Joy each day I was there and visit with her friends. That was fun for me too. I loved being with her and spending time with her in school. I will miss that the most.
Today I got thrown into a group work session and at first it didn't go well. I had six kids and they all seemed to have their heads going other ways. We had to complete two pages in their math books. At first I was working individually with them, but then when I'd leave one child to do to do something while I helped another, I noticed that when I came back they hadn't done what I left them to do! So I ended up pulling a few tricks with them and got them to work somewhat as a group, and got them involved in trying to check each others guesses and see who could be first to find the answers. That worked good and we got their work done in time for them to get to music class. It was a good experience for me and gave me a taste of things to come. YIKES! Can I do this?!
On Sunday Joel and I took a drive, just us two. It was a very windy day. We were curious how the new property was looking with the leaves falling now. We missed the color, but it was great to see through the trees and see how deep the woods are by the house. It can be so deceiving with all of the leaves. We saw a lot of deer tracks and some typed of canine tracks. We stopped and just listened to the wind in the trees. I love that sound. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I've missed that sound. In this neighborhood I don't spend a lot of time outside. They've set up the house to look like people are living in it, to avoid more break ins. There's a trike, shoes on the porch, lawn chairs, etc. They did a good job. Hopefully it works and keeps people out until we can get into it!
I brought home several boxes today for packing. The kids want to start, but I am apprehensive and really don't want to begin until the time gets closer and we have our closing packet on hand. This week we received a letter in the mail from one of Joel's student loans and his payment is going up! AHHHH! This might make it hard to get our home loan, so now it's all questionable again.

I'M SO SICK OF THIS ROLLER COASTER!!!

I am tired of being excited, then let down, then excited again. It's really depressing and was really hard on me the last time. Then we got the go ahead from the bank last week and I've allowed myself to get excited again, and now there's this letter. UGH. Rocks in my stomach. I hate this. I'm finding more hair in the sink this week. This is the last time I do this. I told Joel if our loan doesn't go through, we need to stop. Walk away. Stop trying to find banks that will finance it. There's more banks that will, but I'm tired of jumping through all the hoops and I think that might be Heavenly Father's way of telling me that I'm crazy and heard a "yes" when he was really saying "no". Maybe we need to wait until after the famine is over.

Maybe. I don't know what to think anymore.