Oh man, I can't believe I am going to let this leave my fingertipss, but here it is.....
I am rethinking my choice of schools, which also affects my choice of careers!
Ahhhh!
This was not supposed to happen!
I have so many interests, it was extremely difficult to pin down the one choice I had made and stick to it. Now that I have done that, I am finding that maybe the school I have chosen maybe not the right school for me. I can't even tell my best friends this in person. (I don't ever want to come off to anyone as seeming wishy-washy. I have image issues with that).
I don't, however, have that particular image issue with my husband. I had spent some time this afternoon searching the internet to see what it said I should do when I say, "How do I find out what I want to be when I grow up?!" Their advice was to ask other people that know me well what they think I would be good at. So I asked Hubby what he thought I would be good at. Hubby couldn't name anything off hand. In a little way that hurts. (I do have issues with thinking that he doesn't think very highly of me or my intelligence or skills. This was one time that makes me feel that my concerns might not be invalid.) He left for work telling me that if teaching SPED is what I want to do, then I should keep going with it. I told him, I do want to be a SPED teacher, but I am having some serious doubts about the school I've chosen.
There are quite a few reasons why I am doubting this school, two of the biggest reasons are:
1) I have taken quite a few online classes before, and have come through them pretty unscathed. I didn't have a problem understanding the directions or what was expected of me. Those were college classes. Now that I've taken two classes from the University, I have had quite the different experience both times! Both classes had teachers that were difficult to understand. These two teachers were completely confusing, didn't stick to the original syllabus very well, wrote very confusing directions for assignments, and were not easy to get ahold of.
2) The one person, the key bearer to all those who wish to be endowed with a teaching licence in SPED from this University, is a woman named Sue. Sue was the teacher for the class I took this semester. She is also the woman I have had to meet with a few times and she has confused me in those meetings too! She talks about things to people who are new to this like we know everything and I felt really dumb asking her to break it all down because there is so much I wasn't getting. I did try to ask questions that would get me the answers I needed, but she also dumped a ton of information on me all at once. While she talked she also typed things on her computer screen (apparently it was a chart she was sending to me) but I coulnd't see what she was looking at because she had a crappy screen. So she would talk about this one class, point at it, highlight it, and I would have to strain to try to see it and make sense of what she was telling me. Sue is also extremely busy and very hard to get to agree for in-person meetings. In my last class at the college there were several students complaining about her lack of response and availability to students needing meetings with her to plan their course schedule.
I'm feeling really discouraged and nervous about staying with this choice. So today I visited the Department of Education and found where they have a link to all of the Universities that have teaching licensure programs. I don't have many options.
I don't have many options.
I'm still just trying to let that sink in....
That means, if I choose another school, I probably have to choose another career.
I don't know what that would be!
